sams1ra: (sad dean2)
Looks like 4.19 is going to stay with me for a while. And this season as a whole.
I keep waiting for Dean to snap. I think, if I was reading it as a fic, I'd already would have told the writer I think it was too much for a person to handle, and the way Dean just doesn't break doesn't feel realistic to me. But it's not a fic. And that's why this is.

Title: The Last Moments
Disclaimer: Supernatural and it's characters are not mine.
Characters: Dean, Castiel - no pairings. GEN
Rating: G
Warnings: Future!fic. Dark.
Wordcount: 154
Spoilers: For 4.01



So this is it, huh? )So this is it, huh? )
sams1ra: (aww dean)
This episode just hurt me so much. Not personally or anything, just... *points to icon*
This whole season, it's been just one low blow after the other, and just... Ow.

Spoilers for 4.19 )
sams1ra: (Default)
Hi guys,

I'm starting to watch the season again - hence the thinky thoughts.
I watched Lazarous Rising and On the Head of a Pin, and some things.... made me think (Yes, ok, eyeroll away).


Yes, here be talk about 4.01 and 4.16, so if you hadn't seen it yet, look away.  )

Well, that's all for now. There'll be more when I watch more episodes. Don't say I didn't warn you...
sams1ra: (sad dean2)

Title: Break
Disclaimer: Supernatural and its characters do not belong to me. No money is being made.
Rating: PG-13, for language.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam (mostly).
Spoilers: For all aired episodes. Sort of a tag for 4x16.
Wordcount: ~4400.
Comments: Yes, please.

A/N: This is dedicated to[info]tru_faith_lost – girl, you rock so hard Dean would be lucky to have you in the passenger seat. Also dedicated to [info]mtee,[info]lapis1961, [info]pippii, [info]pinkphoenix1985 , and an unknown commenter. You know who you are.

 

Summary: All he wanted was rest. A little bit of time to catch his breath and pull himself together. Instead he has to carry the weight of the world on a back that's already broken.

 

eeeeeffffff

Dean took another sip of beer and licked his lower lip. 'I'm tired, Sam,' he said softly. 'I'm so freaking tired. I spent forty years in Hell, and I'm going to spend forever there, too. Can't I just… can't I just catch a break?' )

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sams1ra: (dark side sux)
You know, I don't even know how to start this, except to say those final minutes of It's a Terrible Life really ticked me off.

Cut for obvious spoilers )
sams1ra: (spoilerphobe)
Man, squeezing my eyes shut, sticking fingers in my ears going 'lalalalalalalalala I can't heeeeaaaar you' is getting so much harder these last couple of weeks.
I WANT to know what's going on next week. I WANT to see the preview, which, on one hand is yay for Show for making me itch like that again after so long. On the other hand, I do believe that I enjoy Show a LOT more when I'm spoiler free. Oh, the dilemma... (Ok, not so much a dilemma, cuz I don't want to be spoiled, but that itch! I want more Show! *bounces in chair*)


Also, is it just me, or has Show grown a lot crueler towards Dean?
I mean, I'm going through all the mean stuff said to him throughout the seasons for this fic I'm writing which I'll probably never post, and... it's gotten worse.
Remember Asylum and how shocked and wowed we were about the things Sam had said to Dean?
"That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you."
Man, that used to hurt so much. Used to. Now it's just... I dunno. A Tuesday?
Cuz back then... I dunno. There's SO MUCH more weight on his shoulders now, and he's trying SO hard, and he's been in Hell longer than he's been on Earth, and the apocalypse is now suddenly his fault, and his brother is so far down the road his father had warned him about and he'd lost all control.
He'd said how many times that he's too tired of it all? Guh.
Why do you hurt me so much, Show?
10008813.gif ouch image by smilemoticon

Can we just, for once, get an episode where the load is not on Dean? Where someone goes 'you did a great job and saved the day and your little brother, and there's a happy ending (and pie) for you?'
*weeps*smileycry2.gif image by smilemoticon
sams1ra: (Default)
Title: Stubborn
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sams1ra 
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the Winchesters.
Characters: Dean, OC, mentions of Sam.
Wordcount: ~3600.
Reviews: Are always welcome.

A/N: A long overdue fic for
[personal profile] sandrainthesun, who asked for Winchesters in high school, from outside POV. Since I'm so late with this, I tossed in some Smart!Dean for good measure.
Also, many, many thanks to my awesome beta,
[profile] tru_faith_lost!

Summary: He just wanted to quit, said it would make everyone's life a lot simpler.




I've lost more than a few kids over the years. I'm not going to lose this one. )
sams1ra: (WIP)
Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Wordcount: 4452
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned. NO spoilers for season 4, please do not spoil me. Thanks!

Comments: Are better than chocolate!

A/N: Much love and cookies to the awesomeness that is my beta
[info]tru_faith_lost , who helps making this story better. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Son of A/N: FINISHED! dancing2.gif image by smilemoticon 

Summary: Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of the yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....


Chapter Thirteen

 

 

Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 

Thanks for reading!

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sams1ra: (WIP)
Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Wordcount: 4030
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned. NO spoilers for season 4, please do not spoil me. Thanks!

Comments: Feed my muse ;)

A/N: Much love and cookies to the awesomeness that is my beta
[info]tru_faith_lost , who helps making this story better. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Son of A/N: No, this is not a deathfic.

Summary: Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of the yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....


Chapter Twelve



Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 


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sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Wordcount: 2840
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Feed my muse ;)

A/N: Much love and cookies to the awesomeness that is my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost , who helps making this story better. All remaining mistakes are mine.

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of the yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....


Chapter Eleven

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sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Are what feeds my muse ;)

A/N: Much love and cookies to the awesomeness that is my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost , who helps making this story better. All remaining mistakes are mine.
A/A/N: I really, really want to kill Sam. Can I? Please? flirt

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of the yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....


Chapter Ten



Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 


 

sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Are what feeds my muse ;)

A/N: Much love and cookies to the awesomeness that is my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost , who helps making this story better. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Son of A/N: Uh, no, I didn't go there. This is not a deathfic.

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....



Chapter Nine (Part Two)

Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 

sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Are what feeds my muse ;)

A/N: Much love and cookies to the awesomeness that is my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost . All remaining mistakes are mine.
Son of A/N: This chapter? Kicked my @$$. It really did. But it ended up being pretty long, so I've cut it. Next part should be up as soon as it gets back from my beta. Oh, and happy Fourth of July!

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....


sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Are what feeds my muse ;)

A/N: Much love and cookies to the awesomeness that is my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost . All remaining mistakes are mine.
Son of A/N: Yeah, so this wasn't the chapter made of EVOL, just the one before it. But I did finally get over the scene that was totally kicking my ass, so there should be a nice update next week. *fingers crossed*

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....




Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13  

Thanks for reading!

sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: This is Kripke's sandbox, I just like playing with his toys ;)
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Are what feeds my muse ;)

A/N: Much love to the awesomeness that is my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost . All remaining mistakes are mine.

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....


Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 

sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: I own nothing supernatural related. Yet…
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, John, Bobby, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Are what feeds my muse ;)

A/N: Much love to the awesomeness that is my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost . All remaining mistakes are mine.

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off....






Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 

Thanks for reading!
sams1ra: (WIP)

Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: I own nothing supernatural related. Yet…
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, John, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Are like chocolate. There can never be too much ;)

A/N: Sorry for being late with this update. Much love to my awesome beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost for making this story better. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Son of A/N: Kripke, I hate you. I really do. You're just lucky you chose to end your episode differently, or I would have had no choice but to send demons after you. And I so wrote this first - I first posted after the end of season 2, so there. *pouts*

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where we left off....



Thanks for reading!

Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 
sams1ra: (deangirl)

The awesome 

[personal profile] kroki_refurhas found the best, most ingenious, way to save Dean!

Go! See!    \0/

Also, how come there's no mood that says Squee! ? or Flail? or Fangirl? *ponders*

 

sams1ra: (WIP)
Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: I own nothing supernatural related. Yet…
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, John, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Please?

A/N: Much love to my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost for the great work. All remaining mistakes are mine. 
A/N 2: Thanks to everyone who took the poll and let me know you're out there. It means a lot to know I have readers (and it forces me to... well... right ;) ) You guys asked about Sam - the 2008 timeline starts next chapter, so Sam and Bobby and others will be there.
Thanks for reading!

Summary:  Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where we left off....

 

 



Thanks for reading!

Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 
sams1ra: (WIP)
Title: Picking Up Where We Left Off
Disclaimer: I own nothing supernatural related. Yet…
Rating: R, for language and violence.
Category: Gen.
Pairings: None.
Characters: Dean, Sam, John, OCs, other canon characters.
Spoilers: For all episodes aired in the US. This story is mostly AU for season 3, but some characters and events will be mentioned.

Comments: Please?

A/N: Much love to my beta 
[info]tru_faith_lost for the great work. All remaining mistakes are mine.

Summary: Twenty five years ago, a demon killed Mary Winchester and tainted her son. Six years ago, someone drugged and abducted Dean Winchester. Nine months ago, one of a yellow eyed demon's tainted kids killed Sam Winchester. A few days later, the gates to hell opened, and all hell broke loose. And now, everything's picking up where it left off.....

 

'Anything else?' John asked. Dean finished his drink and lay back, closing his eyes. 'Dean?' 'Hmm?' 'Now I'm gonna give you the third degree,' John said and Dean groaned. ) Picking Up Where We Left Off

Chapter Three

(Still 2002)

Dean woke up again late in the afternoon. He still seemed a little disoriented, his words a little slurred. He relaxed in the presence of his father, but John recognized the banter and misdirection his son was tossing his way, knew it was Dean's way of trying to mask his pain. A glance at the monitors Dean had been hooked up on helped calling his bluff.

Dr. Fitzpatrick pulled John aside. "We found three types of anti-depressants in his system," he said. John frowned. "There were also sedatives and stimulants. Definitely not something one would mix for the purpose of getting high," the doctor went on. "Well, not unless they were stupid." He shrugged and signed something a nurse shoved into his hands, barely looking at it.

"Can you tell if there's gonna be any lasting damage yet?" John asked.

"Well, it's a little early to be a hundred percent sure about the lasting effects of taking contradicting drugs." The doctor pushed his glasses higher up his nose. "There will probably be some side effects; you should expect him to feel nauseated, jumpy, and confused," the doctor said, "But what you should be most concerned about at this time is his heart."

John's frown deepened. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it seems the nitroglycerin we've been administrating isn't doing its job," Fitzpatrick explained. "We are going to try switching him to some other medications, give him some more tests, but frankly, Mr. Nash, you should prepare yourself for the option that medications would simply not suffice."

"What is that supposed to mean?" John demanded gruffly.

"Well, should your son's arrhythmia not be resolved by the new medications, we would have to consider a more permanent solution," the doctor explained.

"Meaning?"

"We would have to implant him with a pacemaker," the doctor said bluntly. John stared at him, waiting for a smile, a wink, anything that might indicate that the doctor was joking. Fitzpatrick stared back. John fumbled for a seat as his heart dropped to somewhere in the vicinity of his ankles.

"I understand how this sounds, Mr. Nash, but let's worry about it if and when the time comes," the doctor said, checking his watch. "Let's see how Donald does with his new medication first. Your son is young and, otherwise, quite healthy. At the moment, a pacer is a distant possibility, but it is still a possibility. We'll just have to wait and see," the doctor finished. "Now if you'd excuse me, I have other patients to see," Fitzpatrick said quickly and left the room, leaving a dazed John behind. John ran a hand over his face and wondered where the good doctor had learned his bedside manners.

Dean had dozed off again by the time Dr. Fitzpatrick left, and John spent the next hour sitting next to his firstborn, thoughts and worst-case scenarios playing in his mind.

"Mr. Nash."

John was startled out of his reverie by the familiar voice. He turned and nodded at the cop who entered the room. Carlos tucked his cap under his arm and neared Dean's bed.

"Officer Martinez. To what do we owe the honor?" John asked and got up from his seat.

"No, no, please, sit down." The cop waved at him to sit. "I was just making my rounds," he explained. "It's our policy to secure victims of an unsolved crime."

"I appreciate that," John lied and smiled at Carlos. Having the police breathing down their necks, even if it was done with the best intentions, was going to be a problem. Especially when the Billing department found out the insurance was fake.

"Oh, I… have something for you," Martinez said and handed John a plastic bag. John looked quizzically at the officer. "These are the things that were on your son when we found him," Carlos explained. "My partner asked me to tell him he had a sweet ride."

John smiled at that, and looked at his son, half expecting him to smirk and make some smart-mouthed remark, but Dean was still asleep.

"He does love that car," John noted and looked inside the bag. It contained Dean's leather jacket, his phone, car keys, necklace, wallet, ring, and bracelets. "Thank you for these," John added.

"Don’t mention it," Martinez said dismissingly. "Any news about his condition?"

"Doc said to wait and see," John answered. Carlos gave a knowing nod.

"The best way of saying shut up and keep out of their way," he said with a slight smile. John couldn’t help the smile that ghosted his lips.

"How are the others doing?" John figured it sounded nonchalant enough. "The other victims, that is," he clarified. Martinez glanced at him.

"Far as I know, Donald is one of the lucky ones," he answered.

"How many others are we talking about?"

The cop studied John before answering. "A few," he said. "I don’t think they all ended up here, though."

"No one died, I hope," John said, gauging the cop's reaction.

"Not that I know of."

"Why were they brought into different hospitals? Weren’t they all found together?" John asked.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Nash, I can't comment on an ongoing investigation," Martinez answered.

"Of course," John said coolly, "But surely, you have leads," he tried.

"I really can't comment on that," the cop repeated, and John knew enough cop-talk to understand that meant they didn’t have any leads. Martinez seemed to be getting restless, defensive. John could tell that pushing more buttons would probably do more harm than good, so he changed his direction.

"About my son's car…"

"Oh, I'm afraid it's been impounded. It's protocol," Carlos said apologetically, and John cursed under his breath. There were only so many times the Impala could be impounded and have no one check the trunk. Good luck and Winchesters didn’t really meet that often.

"Where can I…?"

"Down on Stevenson. About six blocks from here. Not sure about their hours, though. They like to close early," Carlos said, trying to be helpful. John nodded his thanks.

"I'm gonna need to find a motel," John noted, mostly to himself, but the cop heard him anyway.

"There's one not too far from here. It's not fancy, but it's cheap," Martinez offered, and John thanked him.

"Dad?"

"Right here, kiddo," John said quickly, his attention back on his son.

"Why don’t I leave you two alone," Martinez said, "If you need anything…" John thanked the cop again as Carlos excused himself.

"How are you doing, tiger?" John asked.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked instead. John blinked.

"I've been here for a couple of hours, remember?"

Dean frowned, thinking. He was still sluggish, in no condition to answer any of John's questions, so John just sat beside him and kept him company until a nurse came by to tell him visiting hours were over.

John was more than a little surprised when Dean grabbed his hand. Dean's green eyes locked on his, and for a moment, John was sure Dean was going to ask him to stay. Dean hadn’t asked him to stay since he was eighteen. He didn’t this time, either, just let go of John's hand, and closed his eyes again. John squeezed his shoulder once, before he left the hospital for the night.


It was too late to pick up the car, but John at least made sure the trunk hadn't been tampered with. He got himself a room in a nearby motel and took a long shower, losing himself in thought and steam.

He had meant to go out, get some dinner, try to get his hands on as many newspapers as he could from the last week or so, but as soon as his tired body slumped on the bed, he was gone.

John woke up just before dawn, his stomach rumbling. He drove to the nearest Seven- Eleven, getting two large cups of coffee, a box of doughnuts and a paper. He finished the first cup of coffee before getting to his truck. He started on the second cup back in the motel room, when he spread the paper on the bed and started reading.

The story was already in the paper; four people ended up at County hospital because of an overdose, three more ended up in another hospital. Police suspected foul play. No further details. Well, none that mattered. Apparently, one of the victims was the son of some smalltime politician and had been reported missing over a week ago.

John finished the last of the doughnuts, crumpled a dirty napkin and tossed it to the floor. He took another sip of the coffee only to realize there was none left. He looked at the time; still too early to go to the impound lot, far too early for visiting hours. Might as well start with research. Not for the first time, he wished his son had kept a journal like his old man. John had no idea what Dean might have gone after, what he was hunting. And he had no idea if the job was finished.

John had found a stack of old newspapers at the front desk and started going through them, looking for anything that looked like his kind of interesting.


John got to the impound lot just as they opened it, retrieving Dean's car. He waited until he was parked behind the motel before he started looking inside the Impala for clues. The only thing John was able to come up with was that his son was a pig. He took out all the food wrappers and empty snack packages. A car like that deserved better. He'd have a talk with his son when Dean was up to it.

He drove back to the hospital, getting there just as they rolled Dean back to his room, no longer in the ICU, but still on the cardiac floor. A nurse smiled at him and told him Dean had had a good night and that the tests showed improvement in his condition. Any doubt John might have had went out the window when Dean asked him if he'd brought something edible for breakfast instead of whatever slop the hospital decided to call food.

"So, how'd you know?" Dean asked around his cold scrambled eggs.

"Know what?" John asked, pulling a chair closer to Dean's bed.

"About the hospital, about where I was. I mean, we were supposed to meet on Friday, right? I still have a couple of days," Dean said nonchalantly. John stared at him for a long moment, until Dean pushed his tray aside. "What?" he asked.

"It's Sunday, kiddo," John said somberly. Dean frowned and blinked uncertainly at him.

"Oh," he drawled, "so… did we meet on Friday?" He asked, scratching his brow. John clenched his jaw, and offered his son a glass of water. Dean accepted the glass, but didn’t drink it.

"How are you feeling?" John asked.

"Slow," Dean answered after a short pause. "Like… I can think stuff, but it takes forever to say it, and it doesn’t come out right anyway."

"Dean, what were you hunting?" John asked at last. Dean frowned. "What did this? What were you after?" John clarified. Dean shrugged. "Well, did you get it? Do you remember? Did you finish the job?" John pressed on. Dean shook his head helplessly.

"I don’t remember a job. I don’t remember… I… I was looking for something to do. I don’t remember a job…" Dean closed his eyes, and for a moment he looked so much like a little boy, it was almost overwhelming for his father.

"Try, Dean. I need to know. I need to know what you were after. I need to know if you finished the job," John said. Something hurt at least seven people. Something hurt his son. John had to make sure that something wasn’t going to hurt anyone else. That it was dead.

Green eyes stared helplessly at him and John sighed. Dean was still hazy about what day of the week it was, John reminded himself. He pushed himself to his feet, patting Dean's leg.

"Get some rest," he said.

"Are you going?" Dean asked in his lost little boy voice. John hated that voice.

"I have to," he said, "I need to make sure the job's done." I need to make sure you're safe. Dean nodded, not looking at his father. "I'll be back later," John added, and Dean nodded again.

"I'm sorry," Dean said it so quietly John nearly missed it. But he didn’t.

John looked back at his son, gave a slight nod. "I'll take care of it," he said. I'll make sure whatever did this to you is dead. Whatever you were hunting, I'll make sure you're safe. It was a promise, to his son as well as to himself. Nothing hurts his babies and gets away with it.


There was a fire. That much didn’t take John long to find out. An old apartment building downtown. It didn’t burn to the ground, but not much was left of it. It felt like the best place to start.

The building was closed off, but that had never bothered a Winchester before. John treaded lightly among what was left of the house. He couldn’t find any traces of ozone or sulfur, but it didn’t mean much. After all, the fire could have burnt the evidence. That left him with no clues. He had a gut feeling the fire was somehow connected to everything, but with no solid evidence to back that up, John had to write it as a coincidence. At least until he managed to get his hands on some more information.

John made it back to the hospital just in time for the afternoon's visiting hours. He wasn’t the only one waiting to see his son, though.

"Mr. Nash," Carlos nodded at him. John nodded back. "Nurses say it's alright for me to take a statement," the cop clarified. John said nothing. "Uh, actually, Mr. Nash, if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to talk to Donald alone for a few minutes."

John stared at the cop for a moment, before giving another nod. He went to the gift shop and picked out a couple of car magazines for Dean. John was already at the register when he went back and got a couple of peanut M&M packs.

The cop was still there when John made it back to Dean's room. John leaned against the wall, keeping out of sight behind the curtain dividing the room, and listened.

"…Remember me getting you out of your car?" Carlos asked.

"I already told you, no," Dean said, sounding tired and heavy. "I… remember some stuff, but… I don't know, it's all… blurry. I don't even know what's real and what's not."

John wondered how much of that was true.

"The doctor says you're missing days," Carlos noted. "What's the last thing...?"

Dean licked his dry lips, scratching his arm. "Sunday. I… I finished a job, and I had some time to kill. I was supposed to meet my Dad," Dean shrugged, blinking heavily at the cop. "It gets blurry after that."

"Other people have turned up with overdoses from anti-psychotics. Some are in real serious condition. You wanna tell me you know nothing about that?" The cop pushed.

"Dude, missing time, remember?" Dean snapped. He was getting tired of this.

"Anything you can give us. How many were there? Black, white, Latino? Any names you might have picked up, aliases? Do you remember any of the other victims, anything?"

Dean shook his head. "I'm sorry, I really don’t remember," he said tiredly. The cop stared at him for a long minute before replacing his pen back in his pocket.

"Alright then," he said. "If you remember anything…" Dean gave a slight nod and the cop was gone.

"Do you really remember nothing at all?" John asked, and Dean jumped, startled.

"Jesus, Dad! Are you trying to kill me?" Dean breathed. "Just because I’m in the cardiac ward doesn't mean you're allowed to give me a heart attack, you know."

John pulled the curtain aside and leaned against Dean's bed. "That whole Swiss cheese for brains thing, is it real?" He pushed. Dean sighed.

"You're gonna give me the third degree now?" He asked tiredly. John shrugged.

"I'm gonna give you these," he said, dropping the magazines and the candy in his son's lap. A slow smile spread across Dean's lips.

"See, I knew they forgot some basic first aid," he said, reaching for the M&Ms.

"You need anything?"

"Water," Dean asked, and John refilled his glass with the cool liquid.

"Anything else?" He asked. Dean finished his drink and lay back, closing his eyes. "Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"Now I'm gonna give you the third degree," John said and Dean groaned. "What do you remember?"

"Not much. I already told you." Heat. Smoke. Pain. Screams. Weird smells.

Sighing, John ran his fingers through his hair, scratching his beard. "Try," he said, "What's the last thing you remember? Before I called you?"

Dean paused for a moment before he answered. "A diner." Scared eyes. Phone call. Red light. A tube down his throat. A needle. "I… I was hungry. Ordered a cheese steak sandwich and some fries. Don’t remember getting 'em, though." Dean turned his head away from his father, letting his eyes close. "Waitress was off limits," he muttered, mostly to himself. "Too young. Looked twelve, but she was pro'lly older. Too young. Off limits," he repeated tiredly.

"Did you talk to someone in the diner? Were you in the middle of a job?" John prodded.

Hunger. Thirst. Feeling like he was flying, but underwater. Chanting. A cop. Bright light. Nausea. Thirst.

"Don’t remember," Dean said, licking his chapped lips. John refilled his glass again, Dean accepted it gratefully. "I remember… things. Fragments," Dean said once John had taken the glass away. "I don’t know what they mean. Can't even tell if they're relevant, if they happened before, or after I got here." Dean closed his eyes again, already drifting. "I remember drugs, I think. Remember feeling…" He trailed off. "But that must have been here, right?" He opened his eyes half-mast. John watched him for a long moment before asking;

"You're not using again, are you?" Because he had to know. He had to be sure.

"No, sir," Dean slurred. Darkness. Cries. Smoke so thick he couldn’t breathe. Pain. Light so bright it hurt. And then darkness.

"Would you tell me if you were using again?"

"I'm not using, Dad," Dean protested irritably. John sighed.

"Alright. Get some rest. And try to remember the name of that diner."

TBC




Previously: Where it all started >> 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7 >> 8 >> 9a >> 9b >> 10 >> 11 >> 12 >> 13 

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